


Retirement

by wickedtrue



Category: X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Canon Relationship, Comedy, Established Relationship, F/M, Slice of Life, Women Being Awesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-22
Updated: 2011-07-22
Packaged: 2017-10-21 15:43:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/226847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wickedtrue/pseuds/wickedtrue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I did not know what else to do! That one with the butterfly wings just fell off the roof in front of the Finnigans. I could not say there were no mutants in our backyard. There was one stuck in the ivy.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Retirement

**Author's Note:**

> This is OLD fic. Like, 2005/2006. Long before all the universe wide events, "no more mutants", and the whole Kitty gets to be vapor thing. Illyana sure wasn't alive at the time! This was happy ending fic as much as I could get them.

Kitty Pryde is having one of those days. One of those hair rip worthy sort of days. “What did I say about aerobatics in the house?”

Kurt freezes in a crouch. “Keep it away from the good china?” He pours the charm on that one. Kitty makes a disagreeable noise and chops the carrots harder.

The blue mutant can’t help but snort and dangles his tail over a dark haired toddler’s head. “Remember, when Mama yells, it means she loves you!” He stage whispers. The baby coos happily and gums Kurt’s tail.

“Kurt Wagner, what are you teaching my—“

“Mama, can I have a cookie?” asks a tiny, blonde child who tugs on Kitty’s pant leg.

“No, baby, we’re about to eat dinner,” Kitty tells her with a pat on her head.

“But Mama-- ! Papa, Papa, Papa!” She squees happily and hurries out of the kitchen to attach herself to Piotr’s leg.

Piotr Rasputin keeps walking, dragging his daughter along as she giggles and squeals. “My, my! My feet, they are so heavy! I wonder…” He pretends to be startled when he looks down and scopes up Illyana and tosses her once in the air. “What is this? Where did this beautiful girl come from?” Illyana lets out a shriek of laughter when Piotr zerbets her cheek.

“Papa! Can I have a cookie?”

“Ye—“ Kitty gives him a pointed look. “—no.” He tries to say with his most stern voice.

“Papa~!”

“You convinced the neighbors we weren’t having a mutant rally, Petey?” Kitty breaks in.

“…er.”

“Piotr Nikolaievitch!”

Kurt has settled the little boy on his hip and reaches out for Illyana. “BBQ is done! Let us go visit Uncle Logan!” He makes a hasty escape with both children in tow.

Piotr looks just the tiniest bit startled. “We trust Logan with the kids!” Kitty reminds him. “—we trust Kurt to protect the kids when Scott and Logan duel to the death for the biggest burger over their mutual mourning of Jean’s current death!”

That breaks the small amount of tension. Piotr lets out a tired laugh and pulls Kitty close, leaning his hip against the counter.

“I said we were holding a late birthday for Carmen.”

“Pete!”

“I did not know what else to do! That one with the butterfly wings just fell off the roof in front of the Finnigans. I could not say there were no mutants in our backyard. There was one stuck in the ivy.”

“Oh my god, she fell off the roof?”

“She bounced.”

Kitty didn’t think her migraine could get bigger, but it has. Piotr is quiet, rubbing at her lower back. “Sorry,” Kitty mutters into his shoulder. “You did what you could. Better than the truth. ‘Oh, our mutant school got blown up again. It’s only two dozen homeless muties and infamous super heros staying in the back yard. It’ll only be a week. Six months, tops!’”

“Emma is not staying six months. I walked into her hanging underthings once all ready.”

“…she wears underwear?”

“Katya.” But there is a tiny chuckle there.

“I know, I know.”

They lean against each other and watch Bobby Drake through the window do a lazy loop de loop for some of the younger students.

“At least we have built in babysitters for a while.”

Piotr chuckles, a deep rumble in his chest. “Two children do make good birth control.”

“You know what happened last time you said that?” Kitty pokes him in the chest, and Piotr’s grip changes to settle over the slight swell of her belly. And he looks very smug.

“Nyet. Is nothing like last time. Last time, you were…” He pretends to think about it, then swings her up to sit on the counter and settles between her knees. “…and I was…” His hands glide over her thighs, and he presses a kiss against her collarbone where her tank top is falling off her shoulder.

“—you are such a dirty old man. All that gentleman stuff when we were dating? Total crap.” Kitty tells him as her head falls back and Piotr slips his hands up the back of her shirt. “…honey.”

“I know.” He answers and gives her a chaste kiss. “But you are more relaxed, no?”

“So you do have your uses besides making me a baby machine.”

There is a cough from the back door. They both look up and.

“Bobby!” Kitty yells. Who knew Iceman could become Mudman?

“We made mud pies, Mama!” Illyana, the mud child from beyond, chirps, and lets go of Bobby’s hand long enough to do a muddy shimmy on the stoop.

Kitty picks up her oldest carefully and keeps her at arm’s length, nose wrinkled. “You are a mud pie!”

Piotr already has Bobby by the back of the neck and out the door before Kitty can let loose the barrage of entirely inappropriate words for little ears that she has half formed on the tip of her tongue. She lets out a deep sigh and starts phasing Illyana out of her mud caked clothes. “You know what you’re gettin’, bub?” A shower in the sink, that’s what!

“Cold, cold, cold!” Illyana shrieks, giggles, and does a muddy, naked dance in the kitchen sink.

“Is there even a child under all this?”

Kitty can hear Bobby through the open kitchen window. “Peter! Pete! Big Guy! My main man!”

“—those roses were a wedding gift from Ororo! And I just planted that sapling!”

“I can fix it! I can fix it!”

Kurt bamfs! and bamfs! after Rachel. “Rachel! Rachel! I do not think the baby likes loops yet!”

Rachel laughs and balances the laughing Carmen on her stomach as she floats by, both his chumby fists wrapped around Rachel’s offered thumbs. “Aw, he loves it!”

Kitty watches Scott go flying by the window and Rouge catch him before he can land in their neighbor’s pool. “Y’all been spikin’ the punch without me again!”

Piotr is now armored up and has Logan in a choke hold and dragging the garden hose behind him (tied in a neat bow around Bobby Drake). “Nyet! My friends! I just finished that fence!”

“Mama?” Illyana asks. “Am I gonna get a new room like last time Uncle Scott and Uncle Logan came to visit?”

“Ah,” Kitty sighs. “Retirement.” And dumps a cup of water over the head of her wiggling three year old.


End file.
